Himself!
By Rodentia
Peter Molyneux is one of the British gaming industry’s absolute legends. He invented the God Game genre, he’s received an O.B.E. (the Queen is a big old Fable fan-girl), and has won countless awards from his industry.
Since the release of his latest disappo^hsmash hit ‘The Movies’, we at Rodent Towers decided to do a little research, and we bring to you the definitive list of Peter Molyneux facts that you may not know.
- Peter Molyneux actually reacts to your actions and learns from them. He can even express basic emotions like "hunger" and "love"
- In the sequel to Peter Molyneux, he promises that every time you see him, he’s gone just a little bit balder
- Peter Molyneux is always way better on paper
- If you keep hitting Peter Molyneux every time he creates a new Populous rip-off, eventually he starts shitting himself
- The naming of Peter Molyneux's current company "Lion Head Studios" came about in error, after a memo containing a typo was sent to Company House. The correct name for the company should be "Lino Head Studios"
- The 'D' in Peter D. Molyneux stands for 'Disappointment'
- Molyneux is actually pronounced Mole-why-knee-ucks
- Peter Molyneux is unable to make any life decisions without consulting two rather charmless entities which orbit his shoulders and appear at salient moments in the day
- By making moral choices over the course of his life, Peter Molyneux is able to make the faceless NPCs who buy his games react adversely to him
- "Peter Molyneux" is just one of many pseudonyms under which he does business. As "Pedro Mollinari" he collaborated with Dino Dini on the ill-fated Kick Off Sunday League Edn, and as "Pieter Mol" he was, with Gus Ende, a co-founder of of Big Brother creators, Endemol
- If you look closely, you can see that Peter Molyneux is in fact isometric and therefore doesn't get smaller in the distance
- Peter Molyneux doesn't actually exist. He is a virtual person invented by a PR company financed by Mark Cale. His sole reason for existence is to annoy Archer Maclean by winning industry legend awards
- Peter Molyneux chooses what to have for tea by having exactly the same thing as yesterday but with different packaging
- Pete Molyneux used to amuse himself by inviting attractive young developers to his house for "offsite development"
Demis Hassabis is the result
- **We've nicked this one for our 'The Movies' review - see 'rinse and repeat' is catching**
- Peter Molyneux is actually god and we are all living in a Peter Molyneux simulation. The real world is actually isometric
- God called on Peter Molyneux's advice whilst making Monday, hence the shitness
- "Molyneux" is phonetically almost identical to the Japanese words "Wooden Tit". This is why Peter Molyneux only ever went to one games tournament in Japan
- Peter Molyneux was the Peter in Peter, Paul and Mary. He originally wanted the name of the group to be Peter, Peter and Peter to reflect his genius. The Greatest Hits package doesn't include Black and White
- Pete Molyneux neither cleans his shoes nor wipes his arse - he has a harem of tame games reviewers who perform these mundane tasks for him, with their tongues
- Peter Molyneux's project schedules are in dog years
- 8 out of 10 videogame journalists agree: "Peter Molyneux shure do got a purdy mouth"
- In 1778 Peter discovered the element Molybdenum during his search for an industrial strength lubricant
- Peter Molyneux claims to actually have a magic carpet: "It doesn't fly, but it is very difficult to stain", he says
- Anagrams for Peter Molyneux include "Peel my ox tuner", "Rex Pluto, enemy" and "Stop fucking doing the same game over and over"
- Peter Molyneux knows all of our addresses, although the retribution he say's he's going to exact on us won't be so impressive when it actually happens
February 2006
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